Who Am I Without the Anxiety? OCD, Identity Formation, and Finding Clarity in YoungAdulthood
If you’re a young adult living with OCD, you might find yourself asking questions like:
“Are these thoughts really mine?”
“What if this says something awful about who I am?”
“Do I even know what I believe, or is OCD just running the show?”
You’re not alone. These questions are incredibly common among young adults navigating OCD and the messy, transformative work of figuring out who they are.
Let’s unpack why OCD can feel so entangled with your identity and how therapy can help you separate the two and build a life aligned with your real values.
OCD Isn’t “Just Anxiety”- It’s a Distortion of Identity
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) isn’t just about being neat or worrying. At its core, OCD thrives on doubt, especially around the things that matter most to you: your safety, your relationships, your morality, and yes… your identity.
For young adults, a time when you’re naturally exploring big questions like:
“What do I believe?”
“What kind of person do I want to be?”
“What are my values?”
OCD can twist these into obsessive loops:
“What if I’m a bad person and don’t even know it?”
“What if I’m faking who I am?”
“What if I have the wrong gender identity or sexual orientation and I’m in denial?”
These aren’t just thoughts. They’re distressing, looping intrusions that can keep you feeling stuck, disconnected, and deeply unsure of yourself.
When OCD Hijacks Identity Development
OCD can make you question your own mind. You might feel:
Afraid to trust your gut
Obsessed with “figuring out” who you are, but never finding a clear answer
Emotionally numb or disconnected because you’re constantly monitoring yourself
Like you’re faking everything, even when you’re trying to be authentic
It’s exhausting. And it’s especially hard when peers around you seem to be “figuring life out,” while you’re stuck in your head trying to decode intrusive thoughts.
Here’s the truth:
You are not your OCD.
But when your brain is flooded with doubt and mental compulsions, it’s hard to hear your own voice through the noise.
What Therapy for OCD and Identity Can Look Like
As a therapist who works with teens and young adults struggling with OCD, perfectionism, and anxiety, I know how overwhelming it can be to untangle your symptoms from your sense of self.
Therapy with me combines evidence-based approaches like:
Exposure & Response Prevention (ERP): So you can stop overanalyzing your thoughts and start living again.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): To challenge unhelpful thought patterns that feed self-doubt.
Values-Based Work: We focus on what you actually care about, not what OCD says you “should” care about.
Identity + Emotion Work: Therapy is a safe space to explore who you are underneath the anxiety, with compassion, curiosity, and zero pressure to have it all figured out.
Imagine This:
You start trusting yourself again
You stop overanalyzing every thought and feeling
You learn to say, “That’s OCD,” and move on
You build confidence in your identity, not by obsessively “knowing,” but by choosing
Because who you are isn’t found in certainty. It’s built in how you show up to your life.
Ready to Find Clarity Beneath the Noise?
If OCD has made it hard to know who you are or what you believe, you don’t have to figure it out alone. I help young adults like you navigate anxiety, build confidence, and reconnect with their authentic voice, not the one shaped by fear.
Located in Roslyn, NY: serving clients across Long Island and New York State
Book your free consultation to get started.
Learn more about my therapy approach to OCD here
